The Impact of Patience: Will You Stick to the Status Quo?

When you hear the words “ring by spring,” what’s your immediate reaction? Panicked because you don’t have the funds whatsoever to get your girlfriend that dream diamond ring in two years? Defeated because you can’t even find a half-decent date to semi? Excited to get this show on the road and settle down? A combination of all of these? Today you’ll read an argument on marriage, and no, not the junior-year spring engagement. The later-in-life, richer marriage, and why it’s better.  

As a daughter of parents who got married on the brink of age 31 and who are happily together to this day, I have witnessed first-hand the positive impact of a later marriage. In our age today, and especially in the college town of Auburn itself, there is a lot of pressure to meet that perfect person within three years of stepping foot on campus.  

But that stereotype isn’t always realistic or smart.  

By relieving ourselves of the expectation to have a “ring by spring,” we are ultimately setting up marriage positively for financial stability, emotional well-being, and an individual partners’ assured sense of self.  

Money doesn’t grow on trees! 

“Good things come to those who wait,” you’ve heard before. Well, one of these good things: a spouse. The factor that your mind probably goes to first: not rushing to get married allows partners to reach desired financial states.  

Realistically, no college student can financially support another person, let alone support themselves gracefully at this time. I mean, let’s be real, I know you all are relying on that wellness meal swipe and Heyday dinner each week.  

College should be a time to learn about personal savings, not thinking ahead to managing dual incomes with another person.  

As far as post-grad, eliminating debt should be a student’s #1 priority. And for Auburn, the debt can be a feat. In the U.S. News poll, Auburn University Financial Aid staff in 2024 say that “9% of graduating students at Auburn took out private loans. Students with private loans had an average of $60,321 in debt at graduation.” When graduates are faced with this daunting debt, time spent working toward retirement benefits is lost in scraping funds to repay the university.  

Who are you, outside of them? 

Money isn’t the only benefit, however, of a later marriage. Worth far more than any financial stability can offer, emotional benefits also come along with this relationship patience.  

Later marriages allow for each partner to develop an individual sense of self. 

The routines and practices that are established in your college years are actually the ones that are going to stick with you forever. How are you spending your day-to-day? What are you putting your worth into? Are you waking up early, or cramming your list of to-do’s into the afternoons? Are you cramming in the library the night before your chem exam, or are you making a study plan three weeks prior? Are you meal prepping weekly, or are you banking on ramen and an energy drink to get you by?  

To the beat of their own drum, my parents’ lives after college could not have been more opposite: one to the Netherlands, and the other became a youth Christian camp director. The two both used these times to learn how to be independent people, without a focus on a relationship. 

And it made all the difference. Independence during your 20s is learned and needed.  

Does the frontal lobe really take that long? 

Yes. Believe it or not, “while the frontal lobe (managing, decision-making, and impulsivity) matures in males around ages 25–27, the brain architecture actually remains in an adolescent-like state until about 32.”  

Crazy, right? A strong sense of self only comes with being emotionally mature, and partners older in age proved to be more emotionally equipped to work as a team, compared to the college couple. 

Ladies, with this in mind, wouldn’t you want to wait just a few more years for the one who will probably be making the financial decisions, leading your kids, and providing, to be fully equipped to do so? Marriage requires mental stamina that isn’t quite yet stretched in your college years. When you’re literally sharing everything: from silverware to an apartment rent plan, extreme reliance is needed with the other person. 

You may be thinking to yourself, “age is just a number,” and yes, that is correct, for some people. Critics argue that younger-married couples have higher levels of bonding, because they experience growing up together in crucial teen years.  

But can we really drive solely off of shared experiences? No. Getting married later yields more lasting results: that high-school-sweetheart couple is in a 2% category that ends up actually lasting.  

Where do you lie? 

Now, you may hate me after reading this. “Pshhhh. What will a rock on her finger change?” Well, that’s up to you to consider. But if I’ve picked your brain long enough, consider this last thing: all good things take time- and that might mean meeting your husband or wife when you’re 31.  

So the next time you’re scrolling on Instagram and see another dang engagement post, don’t stress out.  

For now, just worry about who you’re asking to your end-of-year date party, and what you’re eating for dinner tonight.